Adolescence: How the Manosphere is Warping the Sex Lives of a Generation

The new Netflix series Adolescence is just a drop in the ocean compared to the deep and growing influence of the manosphere on young people’s lives. While the show has sparked conversation around sexism in schools, knife crime, and parental responsibility, as a sexologist and sex educator, I want to focus on how this online world, now more exposed than ever, is shaping a generation’s understanding of sex, relationships, and consent.

The gripping four-part series, written by Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham, tells a fictional yet alarmingly realistic story of Jamie, a teenage boy who becomes radicalised by extremist misogynistic content online. After being rejected by a girl at school, Katie, whose nude images had been non-consensually shared, Jamie murders her in a spontaneous act of ‘vengeance’.

Throughout the series, his speech echoes the language of incel communities, and his refusal to accept responsibility mirrors the ideology’s dangerous logic.

What Is the Manosphere?

“Incel” (short for involuntary celibate) is a term coined by online communities, primarily men, who blame women for their lack of sexual experience. These spaces, part of the broader “manosphere,” are digital echo chambers where misogyny, entitlement, and violence aren’t just tolerated, they’re encouraged.

Researchers like Laura Bates and Lisa Sugiura have shown just how dangerous these ideologies are. But what’s discussed less often is how insidiousl they shape young people’s understanding of relationships, sex, and consent.

Sex Education Gaps: A Breeding Ground for Misogyny

One of the most tragic elements of Jamie and Katie’s story is the glaring absence of comprehensive sex education, from both school and home.

Without the tools to understand boundaries, consent, the legal implications of sharing explicit images, or how to navigate rejection, young people are left vulnerable to shame, confusion, and radicalisation.

“And beyond this individual tragedy, we need to ask: what kind of sexual experiences are young people heading toward?”

Sarah Peart, Sexologist – Talk in the Bay

When their questions are not answered in school, we know many young people are turning to online pornography for their sex education. This increases chances of addiction but also exposure to extreme sexual acts, aggressive behaviours, and sexist sexual narratives.

A robust, age-appropriate RSE curriculum does more than dispel sexist myths: it creates space for open discussion, mutual learning, and future sexual wellbeing. It’s linked to higher condom use, lower STI transmission, fewer unintended pregnancies, and healthier first sexual experiences.

When schools fail to provide this, they fail the sexually active people their students will inevitably become. Therefore, its no surprise that sex education is often the first step for many adult sexologists—it lays the groundwork for healthy relationships, positive attitudes toward sexuality, and the ability to make informed decisions about sex.

From Porn to the Manosphere: What’s Being Normalised?

The effects are already visible. Non-fatal strangulation during sex is increasingly common, not as part of mutual kink exploration, but because it’s been seen in porn and assumed to be standard. Condom use is declining. And while the sex industry is more accessible and glamorised than ever, it remains unregulated, unprotected, and steeped in sexism.

For many boys, the journey into the manosphere begins with dating tips or fitness advice. But what starts as self-improvement content quickly becomes a pipeline to harmful ideology. Influencers shame men who express vulnerability and mock women who assert boundaries. Gym culture often overlaps with these spaces, promoting hyper-masculinity, biohacking, and the idea that success with women equates to domination and performance.

This reshapes how young people view intimacy. Sex becomes a performance, a status symbol, or a power move – rather than a consensual, shared, pleasurable experience. The manosphere frames emotional connection as weakness and promotes the idea that sex is a right, not a choice.

Take Elliot Rodger, often cited as the first to commit femicide in the name of incels.

In his chilling video, he justified his murders as revenge for the sex and affection he felt entitled to. While extreme, his beliefs echo those shaping countless boys’ everyday thinking: that rejection is humiliation, and sex is something you “earn” by being the “right” kind of man.

Consent, Pleasure, and the Collapse of Connection

Radicalised thinking distorts expectations around sex and intimacy. In these online spaces, consent is disregarded, and sex becomes transactional – something men deserve and women withhold.

The manosphere preys on low self-esteem and disconnects young people from real-life relationships and social cues. Many boys become so fearful of rejection they avoid connection altogether. But without opportunities for experimentation, vulnerability, and communication, we lose the very foundations of meaningful, pleasurable sex.

Sex is not just about performance – it’s about tuning in to your desires and being curious and responsive to someone else’s. It requires open, sometimes uncomfortable conversations. Even steps like visiting a sexual health clinic can feel overwhelming for boys taught that ‘real men’ don’t ask questions. The manosphere also perpetuates the myth that men are always ready for sex and can’t be victims of sexual violence—further excluding them from vital conversations about consent, boundaries, and pleasure.

The most extreme parts of the manosphere openly advocate for rape or claim that women “deserve” it. But even the more casual corners, meme pages, forums, group chats, are steeped in rape jokes, victim blaming, and the routine dehumanisation of women (often referred to simply as “females”).

Figures like Andrew Tate dominate conversations around masculinity, selling a brand of toxic confidence that’s just as harmful as incel self-loathing. Both share a core belief: that men and women are not equal, and that inequality extends into the bedroom creating sexual experiences where pleasure or respect is not mutual. A slippery slope toward increasing numbers of sexual assault and rape.

What We Need to Be Teaching for Healthy Sexual Adults

In my work as a sexuality educator, I’ve had young boys ask me if a partner saying “it hurts” counts as consent.

These aren’t one-off questions. They reflect a worrying lack of understanding about boundaries, kink, and pleasure.

We urgently need to redefine consent – not as a checkbox but as an ongoing conversation grounded in mutual respect and desire. Young people deserve to know their pleasure isn’t optional – it’s their right. They deserve to know that sex isn’t something they earn or win, and that they can say no, be vulnerable, and still be respected. We also need to dismantle the stigma around male vulnerability. The manosphere teaches boys that asking for help makes them weak. In truth, reaching out is one of the strongest and most human things we can do.

And most of all, we must create spaces where young people can ask questions – without shame, without judgement, and without the internet as their only guide.

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Meet Sarah Peart

Hi, I’m Sarah Peart, a sexologist at Talk in The Bay.

With a background in psychology and a master’s in clinical psychosexology, I specialise in adult sexuality education and therapy. I support individuals and couples in navigating intimacy, gender and sexual identity, dysfunctions, pain, and other challenges that impact emotional and sexual well-being.

My approach blends psychoeducation with therapeutic tools like mindfulness and somatic awareness. I believe sex is a skill that can be developed through open, honest conversation and practical guidance. Whether you’re seeking clarity, improving intimacy, or addressing specific concerns, we’ll work together in a respectful, non-judgmental space tailored to your needs.

Services and Fees
• Individuals: £75
• Couples: £100

Contact us to book.

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